Embracing My Inner Nerd

If you’ve been coming around the blog at all over the past year or so, or even if you’ve been an avid reader from the beginning (hi Mom!) you may have noticed a recent shift in my nerdiness. And by shift, I mean I have fully embraced the nerd life and the nerd life has embraced me. To be totally clear, I have never been cool. I have been a nerd for my whole life. I was the kid who spent her birthday money on books and stayed up late reading under the covers with my flashlight. I will also fully admit to “begrudgingly” watching my brother’s TV shows and movies with him, because I secretly loved every second of MMPR (and if you don’t know what that stands for….well, you might not be a true nerd). But I have always been an internal nerd, hiding those nerd tendencies as best I could.

There has been a bit of a nerd revolution in the past few years, that has made nerd-dom cool. But perhaps the biggest shift in this new nerd perspective has been our attitude toward the female nerd. If I had worn a Star Wars shirt to school when I was a kid, I would have been ridiculed. I now probably own ten Star Wars shirts and I wear them all the time. Part of this is because of me not giving a fuck any more, but most of this is because it’s now fashionable to be a nerd.  Which is awesome. It does make shopping a hell of a lot more dangerous because I want to buy all the nerd things, but how amazing that there are so many cool things to buy. And not just for boys. There is nerd stuff in the girls’ section, and the women’s section, and the toddlers’ section, and even the pets’ section. Everyone now has equal nerd opportunity. What a time to be alive!

I honestly feel like I missed out on so much in my younger years because I never felt like I could fully embrace my nerd-dom. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested, it was that my self-esteem (or lack thereof) would not allow me to to explore those interests. Even when I shifted my high school world from the cool (cheerleading) to the nerdy (theater), I still held back on my nerdiness. And this hold back went on for some time. When the Lord of the Rings movies came out, I saw them all multiple times in the theaters. A friend once asked me why I was going to see Two Towers again, and I told him I liked the movies because of all the cute actors. Now don’t get me wrong, that is 100% true. My love for Orlando Bloom runs deep to this day. But I didn’t love those movies just for the eye candy. I mean there are wizards and elves and trees that can talk! That shit is awesome!

Part of embracing my nerdiness and bringing it all out for the world to see has actually been a challenge because I now don’t know if I am nerdy enough. I mean, can I still love Star Wars as an adult even if I wasn’t an avid fan when I was a kid? Can I become a Marvel diehard through movies and TV shows, even if I never read the comics? The short answer is yes, yes I can. When The Force Awakens came out, I wrote this blog post about drinking the Star Wars Koolaid, and that may have been the trigger that released the torrents of my inner nerd-dom. Since then I have read Star Wars books, bought all the Star Wars merch, started a bookstagram, gotten two Harry Potter tattoos, co-hosted a fangirl podcast, and most recently, embarked on a challenge to watch the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe before the release of Avengers: Infinity War next May.

There is no denying my true self now. I am a nerd. And as time goes on, my nerdiness will continue to grow. And to that I say, fuck yeah. And if you want to embrace your inner nerd, I say fuck yeah to that too. Let’s get together and talk about our fandoms.

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