If you don’t get that reference from the title, you should probably just leave now (just kidding, don’t actually leave, but go listen to Hamilton immediately). So the idea for this post popped into my head a couple of weeks ago after some particularly good and bad interactions at Disneyland and I just kind of ran with it. And I’m pretty sure these commandments will now be posted at the entrances of all Disney Parks because they are that good. If all Disney Parks attendees could adhere to these ten commandments of park going, we will all have a pleasant and enjoyable experience. Consider me your Moses of Disney (and I legit just had to Google who found the ten commandments #neverreadthebible #sorrymom).
Thou shalt not judge parenting skills. Look folks, not gonna lie. I used to be hard core judgy of parents at Disneyland…you know, before I actually had a kid. My kid is relatively well-behaved at Disneyland because we are usually there for three hours and we go all the time. However, it is completely NORMAL for young kids to be having total meltdowns at the parks. They are overstimulated, overtired, and cranky AF. Instead of judging the parents of said kids, buy them a beer. They deserve it. Also normal behavior for kids at a theme park: running away, touching everything in sight, colliding with strangers, crying, whining, demanding food/drinks, complaining, refusing to walk, and refusing to ride in a stroller.
Thou shalt not walk with more than three people in a line. And honestly, three is pushing it, but I know that there are groups of three at the park and no one wants to walk by themselves. So three people deep is the absolute max. If you are in a group of five people walking in a straight line down Main Street, we all hate you.
Thou shalt not ask park-related questions of ticket takers at the park entrance. There are literally hundreds of cast members inside the parks who will be happy to answer your questions. Don’t hold up an entire line of people trying to get into the parks. Also, at every turnstile there is a stack of maps and entertainment guides, with pretty much everything you need to know right there for you.
Thou shalt not cut off strollers. I, along with many other parents, have a stroller AND know where I’m going. I walk with a purpose and I walk quickly (#cardio). If you step in front of my stroller, don’t expect me to be able to stop my momentum. You’re likely going to get hit. And don’t even think about giving me a dirty look after I run into you.
Thou shalt always help other Disney goers in need. Hold doors, give directions, pick up dropped items. Do nice things for other people. Parents, when unloading strollers from the tram, work together to lift them. If you see a mom searching for wipes in the bathroom, give her one. Disney should bring out the best in all of us.
Thou shalt always have your Fast Pass ready. This commandment is mainly for California Disney peeps. You will have your FP checked when entering the line. You will need it again about halfway through the line when a cast member collects it. Have it ready! If not, you will hold up the line that by definition is supposed to move fast.
Thou shalt not stop in the middle of a walkway. This may be my biggest pet peeve ever, anywhere, but mostly at Disney Parks. If you need to stop walking MOVE TO THE SIDE. I don’t know why this is hard to understand, but for the love of God, it is not cool to stop in the middle of a crowded, moving walkway when there are hundreds (thousands?) of people trying to walk behind you. I will make a snotty comment under my breath if I see you stopped in the middle of the path.
Thou shalt keep all slow traffic to the right. Building on the above, if you are someone who wants to stroll leisurely through the parks (by all means, that is your right), then stay to the right hand side of the path. Think of Disney walkways as freeways. Slow people, stay the eff out of the way.
Thou shalt always be nice to cast members. I have been going to Disneyland for a long ass time. I have NEVER had a CM just be rude to me for no reason. Ever. Even when they are telling me something I don’t want to hear, they are still ridiculously nice about it. So there is no reason to be a jerk to cast members. If they are telling you something that you don’t like, they are only relaying the information they have been told to give out. Sometimes different CMs will have conflicting information. I know how frustrating that can be, but it’s not their fault. They don’t make the rules, they just enforce them. Write a rude email when you get home if it’s that bad, but do not abuse cast members in the parks. They are doing the best they can with what they are given. And on the flip side, if a cast member goes out of their way to do something awesome for you, email or tweet about that so they can get the recognition they deserve.
Thou shalt not be that AP. You park regulars know who I’m talking about. Answering a question or pointing someone in the right direction is awesome (see the helping others commandment), but there are APs out there who hear a simple question (“Which way to Pirates?”) and launch into a diatribe about every detail of Pirates they know. It’s obnoxious. Don’t be that guy.
Now if everyone could just follow these ten simple rules, we’ll all be good to go! Any commandments you would add to this list?