I am super excited to be participating in my first ever round of Kill Refurb Marry, brought to you by the fabulous This Happy Place Blog and Mouse on the Mind. If you don’t know, Kill Refurb Marry is a party game typically played by adults when they are drinking. In the adult version, “refurb” is replaced with another word for that thing two adults do when they love each other very much. You are given a category, or sometimes a list of people, and you have to choose who you want to kill, who you want to marry, and who you want to “refurb”. So here we go!
Disney Villains: I decided to interpret this category in terms who my favorite villains are. So my least favorite is the one I chose to kill, and my favorite is the one I chose to marry. So my marry villain is not the one I would actually want to marry if I ever had to choose (I think you will understand why when we get there). And I am totally writing this while I watch Monday’s night episode of The Bachelor, which I think is fitting for this particular category. Without further ado, here are my choices!
Kill: I am going to start this out with a bang! Let’s get controversial! My choice for villain to kill is Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell to me represents the worst qualities of women: whiny, pouty, and jealous of other women. She tries to kill Wendy after knowing her for like five minutes just because Peter seems to like her, which is just not cool. I could probably handle Tink as a character much better if it weren’t for the fact that she gets tons of attention and merchandise and is seen as a symbol of the Disney brand. This is NOT a character that represents what Disney means to me. I’m sure in all of her new movies she is a much better person (fairy), but I refuse to watch them so I don’t know. If I had my choice, I would never have to see her pouty face on any Disney anything ever again.
Refurb: Let me clear about one thing before we get started here. I love The Little Mermaid. I watched it every day for a year straight when it came out on VHS. And when I got the movie, it came with this awesome plastic watch that had a big bubble filled with water over the face of the watch. I wore that thing to bed (and I really wish I still had it). The reason I would refurb Ursula is because the back story of her character that came out after the movie had already been released is actually really interesting. It has been noted that Ursula is actually the sister of King Triton, which makes her Ariel’s aunt. How did the sister of the king wind up being this crazy witch who collects the souls of poor, unsuspecting merfolk? I want to know more! Maybe one day we’ll get a Maleficent style movie about Ursula and my curiosity will be satisfied.
Marry: Again, I will reiterate, this is my favorite villain, not necessarily one I would actually want to marry. If we’re talking real marriage here, I would totally pick Hans or Gaston, since you know, they are hot. But Maleficent is my all-time favorite villain because she’s a badass. I mean, she turns into a dragon. It doesn’t get much cooler than that. Plus, she has the best role in Fantasmic! which is my favorite show of all time.